100 Days 2010.43 Concentrate

Please view my inspiration pieces at:
http://johntimmons.com/video/archives/228
http://steveersinghaus.com/mediaplay/?p=880
http://onehundredpoems.wordpress.com/2010/07/04/043-years-ago/

Concentrate

After my car got towed while I was having a long, languid dinner on the patio of Tisane drinking black currant green tea, I waited outside the restaurant with my friend Mark for my husband to pick me up. He was drinking green tea lemon drop martinis out of a rectangular pitcher known as a "vessel". After about twenty minutes of waiting, he left me to go to the bathroom. "If Jon Smith shows up while I'm in the bathroom, tell him I said hello" he said before making his way through the crowd. Funny, I thought, my husband's name is Rich Esten. Jon Smith is a man I had an unrequited love affair for years before I met and started dating my future husband. Through his lemon drop martini haze I made him concentrate and remember that I am not married to Jon Smith, I am married to Rich Esten and in a matter of moments Rich Esten would show up like a knight in a shining Nissan Versa to pick me up and bring me to get my car, $160 cash in hand.

If I close my eyes and concentrate, however, I can still remember the precious magical moments when I was my old self and thought a future with Jon by my side was still possible. Improbable, but possible. If I concentrate I can remember: his hand reaching for mine during a Smashing Pumpkins concert at Madison Square Garden, him blowing smoke from the joint he just inhaled from pursed lips into my open mouth, the feel of his arms around me in a white undershirt that smelled like Tide as he hugged me hello or goodbye, the feel of his lips on mine as he lay drunk on the hood of my great Aunt Ena's 1986 Buick Park Avenue on a Hollywood perfect summer night and lightening coursed through my veins, and millions of other moments large and small that are part of my old life. If I close my eyes and concentrate hard enough it is a fall day in 1996 and we are skipping Intro to Philosophy to go on a "bone ride" and drive til we get lost and I am happy.