100 Days 2010.30 Fathers Day

Please view my inspiration piece at:


http://johntimmons.com/video/archives/186





Father's Day





What can I tell you about my father? What should I tell you about my father? I can tell you what his former boss at the Waterbury Observer had to say about him in his moving tribute after his untimely death. It tells one side of a multi-faceted story, I could tell you about some of the other facets. My dad once beat me because I came home from school and had not yet learned how to tell time. I can still see the clock in the living room of our first Bristol house, wooden with painted numbers and decorative wrought-iron handles. I can still hear him asking me to tell him what time it was as he shook me and I cried because I didn't know. When I remember back to this incident, my "memory" tells me it was probably quarter to six or so.





In August of 1995 my father had achieved one of the items on his life checklist. He finally had enough money to take his family to Disney World. I was eighteen my sister sixteen, and my cousin Kim who we brought along was fifteen. After I spent all my money buying souvenirs for my friends back home and had nothing for myself, my father gave me $20 to buy something for myself. I went to the Mexico section of Epcot and bought myself a blanket. I can still see it (before I lost it in a house fire) woven with all the colors of the rainbow with black "native" designs. In my memory, it was the most beautiful blanket I've ever owned.





The first time my parents met boyfriend who would become the man I am married to today, the evening started out pleasant enough with dinner at the Olive Garden. We then proceeded to a first or second round Women's NCAA tournament game at Gampel Pavilion to watch the Lady Huskies kick butt. He had two pairs of tickets, one for him and my mother, and one for Rich and I. Our seats were at the opposite end of the court and from where we would be meeting up to leave after the game. The game turned out to have a surprisingly close score so we stayed in our seats until the final buzzer when UConn eventually prevailed. We walked through the crowd to find only my mother waiting. For reasons to this day I cannot recall, my father spent the entire ride from Storrs to Bristol screaming at us "What the fuck? When the game is over you get up and go, you don't fuck around." It is a testament to my husband's unwavering love that we are still together as I spent the entire ride praying for the car door to open up so I would fly out and be crushed by an 18 wheeler on 84 East.





In February of 2007, only two months before I was to be married my father invited me to the Civic Center, this time just him and I to watch the UConn men this time. We sat high up and he used the binoculars my sister and I had bought him to show me the close up seats his friends who were boosters and season ticket holders had. I remember running into his younger brother with his son-in-law and how my engagement ring sparkled under the bright Hartford Civic Center lights. Earlier, he treated me to dinner at Mayor Mike's and I nervously asked him whether it would be OK to be walked down the aisle at my wedding by both he and my mother instead of just him. He surprisingly responded yes, of course, it was my wedding and I could do what I wanted and he supported me.





Six months and two weeks after he walked me down the aisle and danced with me to "I Loved Her First" he died in his sleep of unknown causes at the age of 57 after 35 years of marriage, two daughters, and one granddaughter who changed him into a man I never could have imagined in the second grade. I think about him every day.





This is a picture of me and my father:
Photo courtesy of Christy Benoit.